Category: my life

The Difference a Year Can Make

My dear friend, Molly and I had matching bumps last summer. Our due dates were two weeks apart. I went late and she went early (lucky) so our girls ended up being 3 days apart.
As soon as we could Trey, Lael and I headed right back to where we had just come from to visit Lillian. I was so afraid that someone was going to stop us in the halls of the hospital and ask for some kind of verification that Lael was in fact, our baby.
The hospital has a lot of rules regarding newborn babies. All of them are good and they are for you and your baby’s safety, but they definitely kept me on my toes.
I was so scared I was going to get in trouble with the doctors or nurses for something I was doing wrong. Like I was just babysitting someone else’s baby and I was going to get reprimanded for not feeding her on time, not wrapping her up correctly, or holding her awkwardly. Even with the natural and instant bond you have with your infant, there is still a lack of confidence that lingers, making you question yourself and sweat the small stuff.
When the nurses first handed Lael over to me perfectly and tightly swaddled, all I wanted to do was unwrap her and look over every inch of her little body. I don’t know why. I just wanted to. So, I did. I took her hat off, too.
She started crying, and I thought, “Oh no, I’m going to get in trouble. I better wrap her back up!”
Then I thought, “Wait, this is my baby and I can do anything I want!”
It’s quite a phenomenon when you realize that. It takes a while for it to sink in.
By forthischildiprayed July 8, 2010 Off